Night #7
Sticking with the 'out of bed, door get closed / back in bed, door is reopened' strategy... I didn't even need to use it. She was a little angel - was tucked in bed, gave kisses, hugged her Simba - and stayed in bed quietly until she feel asleep. Don't get me wrong- I am ecstatic- but my Mommy alarm is going off. Something just isn't right here.
Night #8 (tonight)
After the daycare lady telling us she was lethargic and grumpy all day, and then refusing to eat dinner, I knew we weren't dealing with a well kiddo. But, once again, she got right into bed (this time refused to give any goodnight kisses) and stayed there.
Even when I heard the unmistakable sound of a kid tossing their cookies.
Bummer.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
It's 9pm - Do you know where your child is?
I do, because I will hear the little pitter-patter of her feet running out of her room in just a moment. Then in a minute or so after that. And then a minute or so after that…
Here is an update, as promised, to the great ‘Tesfanesh-Is-Going-To-Learn-To-Fall-Asleep-On-Her-Own-If-It-Is-Last-Thing-I-Do-On-This-Earth’ experiment. The results so far? So-so. First of all, yes, she does eventually fall asleep without me actually sitting in the room. Getting there, though, the issue :) Oh- and it has also been cemented in my head even further during this endeavor on just how stinking clever my Little One is. Sure, it’s not a trait I love when trying to get things accomplished like bedtimes and getting your boots on, but it is definitely one that will take her far in life. That is, if used for good and not evil. And, if we can first get through the preschool years. (Please don’t even try to talk to me about what the tween-teen years will be like yet, my heart just won’t be able to take it).
Night #1 :
The Plan : To calmly walk her back to her room if she leaves. No discussing it, no taking requests for water, hugs, potty, to watch The Lion King - nada. The thought is she will eventually see I am not kidding, get tired, and fall asleep.
The Result : Not too shabby. She cried (hysterically) for about twenty minutes, with frequent trips out of the bed. So frequent, in fact, I would literally just have arrived at the door to leave the room and she would be right behind me. I would turn her around, lead her back to bed, and try to leave again. After about twenty minutes, she concedes. Quite literally. She just stops crying, asks to be tucked in please, takes baby bear and gets into bed. She comes out about fifteen minutes later just to be a butthead, and about fifteen minutes after that because she wet her pull-ups. Fifteen minutes after that she was sound asleep, and stayed there the whole night.
My Mood : I am thrilled beyond belief that this worked, and am optimistic about the next night. In my momentary bliss, I had forgotten my own description of my precious little pumpkin – the cuddly Velociraptor. She is always studying, looking for your weaknesses…
Night #2 :
The Plan : Same plan as night #1. Worked so well yesterday, should work today, right?!
The Result : Now that she fully understands the rules, she needs to find ways to break them. After numerous trips out of her room, I make two fatal mistakes. Number one, I break one of my own rules and talk – and number two, I end my impromptu mini-speech with the words “There is nothing you can say that will make me talk anymore. Go to sleep”. Well, if that ain’t a challenge worth taking, I would say nothing is. She, of course, jumped on the opportunity. On her next trip out of the room, while I was walking her back in she said in the sweetest little voice she could muster “I love you, Mom”. So… she is obviously expecting a response. Do I break the rules AGAIN and say ‘I love you’ back? Do I not say it and let her go to bed crying because I didn’t say it? For some reason in my exhausted delirium I think if I whisper it, it is somehow a compromise of the two. She then decides to prance out of her room over and over and over, all whilst saying the “I love you, Mom!”, because now she has found something she can say even though I told her no more talking. I realize I have totally been had, and on one trip instead of answering her, I just put my finger to my lips in that universal “SSSHHHHH!” sign. As expected, she immediately comes running out of the room, crying “Tell me you love me, Mom! Just tell me you love me!” She does eventually fall asleep without me in the room, past her normal bedtime, of course.
My Mood : Yikes. That wasn’t nearly as good as night #1. Little less hopeful now, but still clinging to some optimism.
Night #3 :
The Plan : Staying with the same plan, although I am definitely sticking to my own rules this time and there will be no interaction once the official ‘you are in bed, we love you, now go to sleep’ time has begun.
The Results : She has decided to add a new element into the mix besides the running out of the room and the crying – she starts the infamous ‘I am going to wet my pull-up because then Mom has to come in and help me change out of it’ routine. She does this a few times. How? Who knows. She must be storing pee somewhere like a camel stores water. This one really bugs me. More than the constant getting out of bed, more than the crying. (I actually understand the crying, she doesn’t want to go to bed by herself. I get that. I am sympathetic, but she still needs to do this. She CAN do this). After a progressively more and more frustrating night, she eventually falls asleep in her bed, by herself, way past her bedtime.
My Mood : Bummed. Wondering if I am doing this for purely selfish reasons, or if all the reasons I have come up with in my head about how she is going to benefit from this in the long run are really true? Wait... what are those benefits again? After only four nights, I don’t think I even remember. Momentarily thought I should just give up, but realize that would set us WAY back in our little struggles. Besides the fact that this kid needs more sleep, and she isn’t getting it when a living, breathing distraction is sitting in there with her, even if I just sit perfectly still in the dark.
Night #5 :
We get a total reprieve at just the right time, because I was totally about ready to crack. After a fantastic day of running around with her cousins (thank you-thank you-thank you!), she falls asleep in the car on the ride home, and even sleeps through me taking off her coat and shoes, putting on her pajamas, and tucking her in. Hallelujah for the occasional free passes in life.
Night #6 :
The Plan : Was originally going to be more of the same, but I had to rethink on the fly because she made the running out and skipping back into her bed a game (her skipping, not me). The new rules are now (even though I had previously said I wouldn’t ‘lock’ my baby in her room) if she gets out of the bed the door is shut before she even gets to the door. Once she is back in bed (I can hear her running back to it and jumping in) I open the door back up a crack. (Oh- and as a P.S. – Daylight Savings TOTALLY did not help us in this matter one bit. You suck, Daylight Savings. YOU SUCK.)
The Results : This sucks. Big time. Not only do I have to close the door and she really doesn’t like that, but it also means I have to stand sentry duty AT said door. But it was last night after an hour of her running out and skipping back to her bed giggling that I realized that just walking her back to bed isn’t going to work anymore. So I finally just brought up a kitchen chair and my laptop, sat right outside her door, and if I hear her get out of bed, closed the door went. Once I brought up the chair, though, she pretty much stayed put. So, maybe this is my new strategy. She knows I am close by, but I am not in her sight. Eventually (when she is 16, perhaps?) I will be able to not sit at the door. I guess at least I made it OUT that door. Baby steps, baby steps.
My Mood : Ehhh… I am still not sure if I am really doing the right thing anymore. But, maybe that is just my exhaustion talking.
For tonight, Night #7… well, I think we are just that much closer to the duct tape. That. Much. Closer.
Here is an update, as promised, to the great ‘Tesfanesh-Is-Going-To-Learn-To-Fall-Asleep-On-Her-Own-If-It-Is-Last-Thing-I-Do-On-This-Earth’ experiment. The results so far? So-so. First of all, yes, she does eventually fall asleep without me actually sitting in the room. Getting there, though, the issue :) Oh- and it has also been cemented in my head even further during this endeavor on just how stinking clever my Little One is. Sure, it’s not a trait I love when trying to get things accomplished like bedtimes and getting your boots on, but it is definitely one that will take her far in life. That is, if used for good and not evil. And, if we can first get through the preschool years. (Please don’t even try to talk to me about what the tween-teen years will be like yet, my heart just won’t be able to take it).
Night #1 :
The Plan : To calmly walk her back to her room if she leaves. No discussing it, no taking requests for water, hugs, potty, to watch The Lion King - nada. The thought is she will eventually see I am not kidding, get tired, and fall asleep.
The Result : Not too shabby. She cried (hysterically) for about twenty minutes, with frequent trips out of the bed. So frequent, in fact, I would literally just have arrived at the door to leave the room and she would be right behind me. I would turn her around, lead her back to bed, and try to leave again. After about twenty minutes, she concedes. Quite literally. She just stops crying, asks to be tucked in please, takes baby bear and gets into bed. She comes out about fifteen minutes later just to be a butthead, and about fifteen minutes after that because she wet her pull-ups. Fifteen minutes after that she was sound asleep, and stayed there the whole night.
My Mood : I am thrilled beyond belief that this worked, and am optimistic about the next night. In my momentary bliss, I had forgotten my own description of my precious little pumpkin – the cuddly Velociraptor. She is always studying, looking for your weaknesses…
Night #2 :
The Plan : Same plan as night #1. Worked so well yesterday, should work today, right?!
The Result : Now that she fully understands the rules, she needs to find ways to break them. After numerous trips out of her room, I make two fatal mistakes. Number one, I break one of my own rules and talk – and number two, I end my impromptu mini-speech with the words “There is nothing you can say that will make me talk anymore. Go to sleep”. Well, if that ain’t a challenge worth taking, I would say nothing is. She, of course, jumped on the opportunity. On her next trip out of the room, while I was walking her back in she said in the sweetest little voice she could muster “I love you, Mom”. So… she is obviously expecting a response. Do I break the rules AGAIN and say ‘I love you’ back? Do I not say it and let her go to bed crying because I didn’t say it? For some reason in my exhausted delirium I think if I whisper it, it is somehow a compromise of the two. She then decides to prance out of her room over and over and over, all whilst saying the “I love you, Mom!”, because now she has found something she can say even though I told her no more talking. I realize I have totally been had, and on one trip instead of answering her, I just put my finger to my lips in that universal “SSSHHHHH!” sign. As expected, she immediately comes running out of the room, crying “Tell me you love me, Mom! Just tell me you love me!” She does eventually fall asleep without me in the room, past her normal bedtime, of course.
My Mood : Yikes. That wasn’t nearly as good as night #1. Little less hopeful now, but still clinging to some optimism.
Night #3 :
The Plan : Staying with the same plan, although I am definitely sticking to my own rules this time and there will be no interaction once the official ‘you are in bed, we love you, now go to sleep’ time has begun.
The Results : She has decided to add a new element into the mix besides the running out of the room and the crying – she starts the infamous ‘I am going to wet my pull-up because then Mom has to come in and help me change out of it’ routine. She does this a few times. How? Who knows. She must be storing pee somewhere like a camel stores water. This one really bugs me. More than the constant getting out of bed, more than the crying. (I actually understand the crying, she doesn’t want to go to bed by herself. I get that. I am sympathetic, but she still needs to do this. She CAN do this). After a progressively more and more frustrating night, she eventually falls asleep in her bed, by herself, way past her bedtime.
My Mood : Bummed. Wondering if I am doing this for purely selfish reasons, or if all the reasons I have come up with in my head about how she is going to benefit from this in the long run are really true? Wait... what are those benefits again? After only four nights, I don’t think I even remember. Momentarily thought I should just give up, but realize that would set us WAY back in our little struggles. Besides the fact that this kid needs more sleep, and she isn’t getting it when a living, breathing distraction is sitting in there with her, even if I just sit perfectly still in the dark.
Night #5 :
We get a total reprieve at just the right time, because I was totally about ready to crack. After a fantastic day of running around with her cousins (thank you-thank you-thank you!), she falls asleep in the car on the ride home, and even sleeps through me taking off her coat and shoes, putting on her pajamas, and tucking her in. Hallelujah for the occasional free passes in life.
Night #6 :
The Plan : Was originally going to be more of the same, but I had to rethink on the fly because she made the running out and skipping back into her bed a game (her skipping, not me). The new rules are now (even though I had previously said I wouldn’t ‘lock’ my baby in her room) if she gets out of the bed the door is shut before she even gets to the door. Once she is back in bed (I can hear her running back to it and jumping in) I open the door back up a crack. (Oh- and as a P.S. – Daylight Savings TOTALLY did not help us in this matter one bit. You suck, Daylight Savings. YOU SUCK.)
The Results : This sucks. Big time. Not only do I have to close the door and she really doesn’t like that, but it also means I have to stand sentry duty AT said door. But it was last night after an hour of her running out and skipping back to her bed giggling that I realized that just walking her back to bed isn’t going to work anymore. So I finally just brought up a kitchen chair and my laptop, sat right outside her door, and if I hear her get out of bed, closed the door went. Once I brought up the chair, though, she pretty much stayed put. So, maybe this is my new strategy. She knows I am close by, but I am not in her sight. Eventually (when she is 16, perhaps?) I will be able to not sit at the door. I guess at least I made it OUT that door. Baby steps, baby steps.
My Mood : Ehhh… I am still not sure if I am really doing the right thing anymore. But, maybe that is just my exhaustion talking.
For tonight, Night #7… well, I think we are just that much closer to the duct tape. That. Much. Closer.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Memory Lane...
Oh, baby baby, were you ever really this small? I can hardly remember.
What an incredible (almost) year it has been.
What an incredible (almost) year it has been.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Thank You...
Thank you for all the advice from all you sage mamas out there. I will tell you exactly what we did last night :
Normal Routine :
- pajamas (Dora nightgown with pj pants that are WAY too short because she says 'she looks like a princess in them' to be exact
- brush teeth
- potty
- she chooses to read 'Chicka Chicka Boom Boom' and an shiny alphabet book she swiped from the guesthouse while we were in Ethiopia (sorry all future travelers, this is a cute one, it probably would have entertained your kids)
- turn on lullaby music
- kisses, big hug
- off go the lights
New Routine :
- both Dad AND Mom leave after lights are off
- she is told if she cannot get out of bed until morning, and if she does she will be promptly escorted back
- she is promised two Nemo stickers when she wakes up in the morning, one for her "Work to Earn Lion King II" chart and one to stick on her shirt to show off at daycare that day
I'm not going to tell you how it went, because I am cautiously waiting to see how tonight goes first before I start analyzing. She is like a lovable, cute Velocirapter. You know, the dinosaur in Jurassic Park that they say is 'always learning'? She figures you out pretty quick, that little Tesfu of mine, so it will be interesting to see how she reacts to the routine again tonight.
I'll keep you updated.
Peace(ful sleeping to you)
Normal Routine :
- pajamas (Dora nightgown with pj pants that are WAY too short because she says 'she looks like a princess in them' to be exact
- brush teeth
- potty
- she chooses to read 'Chicka Chicka Boom Boom' and an shiny alphabet book she swiped from the guesthouse while we were in Ethiopia (sorry all future travelers, this is a cute one, it probably would have entertained your kids)
- turn on lullaby music
- kisses, big hug
- off go the lights
New Routine :
- both Dad AND Mom leave after lights are off
- she is told if she cannot get out of bed until morning, and if she does she will be promptly escorted back
- she is promised two Nemo stickers when she wakes up in the morning, one for her "Work to Earn Lion King II" chart and one to stick on her shirt to show off at daycare that day
I'm not going to tell you how it went, because I am cautiously waiting to see how tonight goes first before I start analyzing. She is like a lovable, cute Velocirapter. You know, the dinosaur in Jurassic Park that they say is 'always learning'? She figures you out pretty quick, that little Tesfu of mine, so it will be interesting to see how she reacts to the routine again tonight.
I'll keep you updated.
Peace(ful sleeping to you)
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Advice Please. Pretty Pretty Please...
I see from my little stat counter that people do indeed look at this blog, if at least a side-ways glance. If any of you readers are experienced parents out there (a bonus if you are wise in the ways of toddler adoption) - I need help. Quit giggling! I know, I need help in all sorts of ways... But, for this moment, specifically I need guidance in this : I need my Little One to fall asleep on her own.
Here it is in a nutshell - my pumpkin, she needs a lot of reassurance at home. At daycare she is (mostly) independent, will put on her coat and boots by herself, plays well without adult intervention, and here is the kicker - will go to nap by herself (willingly!). So, I know she can do this. But, she gets home (where she is lavished with attention) - and suddenly she cannot do anything for herself. It has gotten to the point for the last week she has even wanted assistance in eating... but that maybe that is all a topic for a different day. I have an inkling what is going on here, and it will all have to be tackled one little battle at a time. So, for both my sanity and for the opportunity for Tesfu to strut her preschooler independence that I know is lurking in that cute little muffin, it is time for Tesfu to start falling asleep without Mom sitting next to her bed. For ten months, every single night (except for two) - I have had the honor of sitting in the dark waiting for the kiddo to settle down and drift off to sleep. Lately, this has been taking over an hour. An hour of sitting in the dark, occasionally having to say "No more talking - we will discuss it tomorrow" to Tes' declarations of everything from "My fingers are stinky" (oh yuck...) to "I want to give Daddy one more kiss!".
The run down : She is three years old, has been home for about 10 months. We have the same bedtime routine every night (pajamas, brush teeth, potty, read two books with both Mom and Dad, turn on lullaby music, kisses and 'big hug' as Tesfu calls it, tuck into bed, lights off, Dad leaves room but Mom stays). If I try to leave, she will get out of bed within just a few minutes, and will continue to do so. Last night, even after setting a reward that she is really excited about if she falls asleep on her own for 10 nights, she still kept getting out of bed. She begged me to stay in the room, said she didn't want the prize anymore, and so I sat back down and it took her another 45 minutes to fall asleep. Which leads to my question : Will I be scarring my bambino for life if I just stick to my guns and keep putting her back in bed, over and over and over? Which leads to my second question : How the hell do you keep a mobile child in bed without using duct tape?!
Any advice appreciated.
Thanks.
Here it is in a nutshell - my pumpkin, she needs a lot of reassurance at home. At daycare she is (mostly) independent, will put on her coat and boots by herself, plays well without adult intervention, and here is the kicker - will go to nap by herself (willingly!). So, I know she can do this. But, she gets home (where she is lavished with attention) - and suddenly she cannot do anything for herself. It has gotten to the point for the last week she has even wanted assistance in eating... but that maybe that is all a topic for a different day. I have an inkling what is going on here, and it will all have to be tackled one little battle at a time. So, for both my sanity and for the opportunity for Tesfu to strut her preschooler independence that I know is lurking in that cute little muffin, it is time for Tesfu to start falling asleep without Mom sitting next to her bed. For ten months, every single night (except for two) - I have had the honor of sitting in the dark waiting for the kiddo to settle down and drift off to sleep. Lately, this has been taking over an hour. An hour of sitting in the dark, occasionally having to say "No more talking - we will discuss it tomorrow" to Tes' declarations of everything from "My fingers are stinky" (oh yuck...) to "I want to give Daddy one more kiss!".
The run down : She is three years old, has been home for about 10 months. We have the same bedtime routine every night (pajamas, brush teeth, potty, read two books with both Mom and Dad, turn on lullaby music, kisses and 'big hug' as Tesfu calls it, tuck into bed, lights off, Dad leaves room but Mom stays). If I try to leave, she will get out of bed within just a few minutes, and will continue to do so. Last night, even after setting a reward that she is really excited about if she falls asleep on her own for 10 nights, she still kept getting out of bed. She begged me to stay in the room, said she didn't want the prize anymore, and so I sat back down and it took her another 45 minutes to fall asleep. Which leads to my question : Will I be scarring my bambino for life if I just stick to my guns and keep putting her back in bed, over and over and over? Which leads to my second question : How the hell do you keep a mobile child in bed without using duct tape?!
Any advice appreciated.
Thanks.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
The Progression of a Laugh
Three stoic cousins...
getting warmer...
starting to get goofy...
Aha! There it is!
Well, at least two of the three. Why so grumpy, Maiya?
Peace.
getting warmer...
starting to get goofy...
Aha! There it is!
Well, at least two of the three. Why so grumpy, Maiya?Peace.
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