Making a Haul & Trying Hard Not to Obsess

My apologies, I have been super-bad about updating the blog. Here are my excuses, in no particular order: 1) The holidays are coming! Who can conjure up time to write when there are 70 cards to be addressed, presents to wrap, and eggnog to consume? 2) The holidays are over. Who can conjure up time to write when there is a tree to take down, scraps of wrapping paper everywhere to pick up, and Christmas leftovers to consume? 3) I’m just trying not to think about it so much.

Okay, number three is the biggest reason. I have found myself in a bit of predicament, it seems. I’m in a spot where I know, barring some catastrophic event (by the way, we still haven’t been approved by Immigration. I swear I was still a citizen the last time I checked… although I hear the government keeps track of the books you take out from the library – I wonder how many time you can check out ‘The Communist Manifesto’ in college and not be exiled?), that by the end of ’08 Little-One will be here for me to look after, and I feel there are six-quadrillion things I need to do to prepare. At the same time, I feel like we can’t really prepare because so much is still so up in the air. Until I receive that referral, which since we are almost three months into ‘waiting’ could be anywhere from now to six months from now, I am in limbo. And that is an awful feeling to have.

I am not trying to make it all about me; I know my future child is undoubtedly going through tough times, much worse than my impatient waiting. And no, I do not want the birth family to ‘hurry up’ and make an adoption plan. But the uncertainty sucks and the wait is giving me way too much time to obsess. I wonder if there is an actual concrete number of times a person can check an adoption forum in a day before one is considered unhealthy? Hmmm… I hope that number is more than 10…

So, instead of whining about waiting, let’s talk about the holidays. Little-One made a haul! I had been saying to Brad for about a month we should buy the Little-One a Christmas present, but he disagreed. I have been known to overreact when it comes to my impending motherhood, so I took his word and we bought no baby presents. We did, however, receive wonderful presents from family members for Little-One! Aha… I wasn’t crazy…



Quilts and gift cards and monkeys, oh my!

Thank you to everyone who thought of Little-One during the holiday, it warms our hearts to know he is so loved, before we even know who he is.