1. At every moment there are at least 10 seconds of silence, decide to direct the conversation back to adoption. This could be an article you read in the newspaper, a post you recently read on an adoption forum, or just your own personal musings on the subject.
2. Continually ask questions he couldn’t possibly have the answer to, but there is no one else to ask and you’re tired of asking yourself. Examples being – When will we get our referral? What time of day will they call us? How old will our child be? Will he like squash?
3. Continually ask questions that you know he hasn’t put as much thought into as you have, and than get irritated for no good reason that he hasn’t put as much thought into them as you have. Such as – What do you think the perfect age for our referral would be? What time will we have to leave for work in the morning to get the Little-One to daycare and us to work? How will we do (insert what activity we are currently doing at that moment, like going to the YMCA, grocery shopping, etc) once we have Little-One home? Will I have to make cooked carrots?
4. When he tries to make plans for anything farther in the future than three months, sigh loudly and say either a) You can’t make any plans until we know when we are traveling! - or - b) Fine. I’ll just stay home with Little One myself (whether or not you know your child will be home by then).
5. When you get an very generic email from someone who has been through the entire adotion process once already, and she ends the email with "Hope you hear something soon", quiz your husband on whether or not she is somehow 'in the know' and we will indeed 'hear something soon'.
6. Sit on the couch and mope. A lot.
7. Continually ask if he is worried about (insert adoption and / or parenting activity here, such as traveling to ET, potty training, ringworm), because you certainly are.
8. Get huffy for no good reason when his answer to above question is ‘no’.
9. Ask to use the laptop while he is on it at least once a night, because you just must check your email and the forum – after all, it has been at least two hours since you checked it while at work. Don’t go use the computer downstairs to do this, because it will obviously only take ‘a minute’. Take ten minutes scouring the forum for anyone’s referral announcements. Get irritated there is none. Repeat step ‘sit on the couch and mope’.
Okay, I'm not really quite as whiny as this post indicates... I do at least try to spread it out a bit. I don't, after all, really want him to move out to the garage. It is far too chilly out there for me to be continuously walking in and out asking if we should buy a toddler bed...
Love you, Brad!
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3 comments:
That sounds like perfectly normal behavior to me. We did many of those things when I was pregnant with Alex. Ok, we didn't have to worry about ringworm, but we talked obsessively about parenting issues, what the child would look like, is he going to grow up and hate us...you know what I am talking about. It's just the excitement of the whole thing, waiting for your child to come.
I know that you have different things to worry about with an adoption, but the basic concept of the baby is pretty much the same. (Did that sentence make sense? I'm not sure.)
Have fun obsessing, the baby will be here soon enough.
Poor Karl had to deal with most of those same questions, not to mention the added fun of my mental stability at the time. A really fun one is, will she get pregnant or get arrested first? How are we going it address sex questions? Is it okay to 'lie' to them? And the noodle baker, is "I didn't breast feed,does that mean she will become an axe murderer?" Karl's eye twitch was always a sign I went to far...
OH I was the exact same way! I thought I was alone, too. Glad to hear I wasn't the only one. Now the waiting is over....well, almost!
Bless our hubbies, for not jumping ship! Haha...
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