Changes

Seemingly eons ago (okay, like three months) the Little One and I visited a dear friend of mine and her precious new little bundle of joy (who, by the way, was not born on my 30th birthday like I specifically requested) for a playdate. My good friend inoccently enough asked me as we were leaving, "Can you even remember what life was like before our kids?" Now, I noticed very early on that moms are very competative people, even if you don't intend to be. It is just ingrained. So, I of course answered with a smile and "I can't! What did I do with all my time?!" This exchange has been burned into my memory because, honestly, I had remembered very vividly what my life was like before my little girl, and at only two months home, well, quite frankly I missed it. Two months prior, I could use the restroom without a toddler begging to sit on my lap. I didn't have to rock and sing for 90 minutes trying to get a scared, crying Little One to sleep. I could watch tv, I could read a book, I could leave the house.

Then, the other day it hit me - I can't remember what was life was like before my Tesfu. Five months home, and what did I do with all my time? Wow, wasn't I constantly bored? Who did I dance and sing with? Wasn't I sad without that smiley face to wake up to every morning? Wasn't I lonely without those cheeks to kiss goodnight every night? Sure, I still mourn a little that I still can't seem to get to pee alone, but she at least will stand there and tell me, "No sit on Mommy's lap."

Thanks, kiddo.

I can't imagine life without you.